`take my HAND* NEVER let go-

and LOVE surrounds ME*

Tuesday, January 29, 2008
8:42 PM

its time to open up. or else my blog will be dead forever. .
how is everything , pple??? right now, im planning to go aj. the snrs and tch there are nice and friendly. they say i look lik e one of their snr:p anw, i miss u guys!! hcjc trg must be fun and intense!! sorry jaya, i said b4 that i will appeal to hc, but i guess its time i be more realistic.. :( anw, the yj trg here is damn slack! i nv come across such team b4.. apparently yj has no goals. we train once per week and no pt! whenever i see how horribly my snrs spike, i think of jaya, zoe and ym! and we have no setter, cos she absent. so i tot how impt jyin is!and of cos, jing too! den our gals formation is too weak, so we dun really block.. remind me of sara.. i think of everyone!! the guys here are like new players who played since jc1, their first ball is sweep here and there.. yt is such a good libero!! ^^ dunno la. i hope i dun end up in yj.. though they offer me with the combi i wan, like h2 csc,when other schools oni have h1 csc.. but i really wan to win a trophy for vb in my jc life. hcjc is like a dream.. shattered. but nvm, i have aj! hope i get in there! den the ip will be in hc,and o lvl in aj! hahaha.

how is life? mine is fair.. so i just go school every schoolday and try not to think much. be it really numbing or suppressing, i wan to make an effort to make my life better. the past is like a scar thats ugly but doesnt hurt. u get on with life. occasionally you realise its existence and be emo for a while. i wan to believe that as time past, the scar will be forgotten cos u have already learn to live with it and appreciate it for changing ya life.

im gonna spend cny in yj.. how will it be? it will be nice to be back at nygh. pple from hcjc will be able to visit their alma mater early! and the culture same somemore, the cny mood muz be very high, great? i dunno how to describe.. hahz, shld i be the mc for cny celeb? haha.

i miss hcjc gym, even nygh's!! yj gym rennovating, but i still got train!! ^^ the 5kg hand raise! and weight train for wrist. it does help. at least i see my spiking improving in terms of power!! im most enthu in pe!! haha.

anw, this part of me wan us to be like the past, when we can get together and do silly stuff. but another part of me tell me that nth's forever. so i shld expect us drifting further apart. i really hope its not to the extent of a stranger.. i will really be hurt..

we nv know frens are there til we leave them. i rmb seeing sipei and crying immediately, making her feel at a loss. but she understands how i feel. im really thankful i have fren like her who really know me inside out. know me more than i know myself. i canbe really blur abt my emotions and doings.. now i cant approach her as conviently as i wan. but sipei! i do know u will be there for me!! thanks!!

hope u guys like this song! its called xiang ting de hua. ive been searching it for a long time, finally i got it!! alright, i gtg for csc talk at dunman high.. byee

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*

and LOVE surrounds ME*

Tuesday, December 25, 2007
12:50 PM

its christmas, and im all alone! i shld apprciate that. cos i can finally cry out and let go of wadeva ive been suppressing for a yr. isnt it funny? i had such a lovely xmas last yr that i look forward to this day so much. but look. it turn out to be like this!
many times, i told myself not to compare past and present. cos our mind work such that they keep replaying the good memeries of the past when we are at our most depressing moments. it may serve as a comfort. or it can juz make u feel worse. dorli said that as we grow old, we get suspicious of others words, and we too start doubting ourselves, if we are hypocrites ourselves. well, i think instead of saying this is wad the world wan us to be, i would rather say this world is ever-changing. at such a fast rate. pple change. so do i. friends. friend that u hope u can pour out ya heart to w/o being judged. like wad dorli said, its not possible. the more u know abt someone, the more u dun understand him. ironic, but true. i may be wrong. since im a failure in being a fren..
past, some pple wish they can go back to the time when they were young. some wish they nv know the person. i appreciate i had friends there for me before. though now they are gone. out of my world. and actually im sorry. cos my world is too dark.. its gloomy. and sorry fren, you have tried hard shedding light into my world, but i didnt make it. sorry i made u all tire out. giving me up, i nv ever blame anyone but myself, i caused it. i've been hard on myself. i nv believe in myself. i nv feel great abt myself. i nv appecraite myself enuf..
i shldnt be afraid of losing, now that i have already lose you frens. fact is we cannot always be each other good frens. cos everything on this world is changing. i ever tot stars are there forever. but no, sipei reminded me that stars have lifespan too. its just that we cant live long enuf to see them die. and i saw shooting star b4, by chance. i ishld know nths forever. no promise lasts.
pple say horoscope is fei4. theres one time when i choose not to believe it. but i realise everything it says is true about me. cos they write on those extreme pisces, and why, shld i say, sadly, im one of those extremist?!
not happy. not now. not merry. wadever is hope?! to the stars i say: i hope all these are the best arrangement for us

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*